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You can order Bitterstitch patterns as .pdf files to be emailed to you, as printed patterns to be snail-mailed to you, or as full kits to be snail-mailed to you. No matter which option you choose, a copy of the 6-page Bitterstitch Beginner's Guide to Counted Cross-Stitch will be included for each item ordered. Emailed .pdf patterns are provided in full color and high resolution, for viewing on your computer screen or printing on your own printer. Mail-ordered patterns are printed in full color on card stock, and include instructions.  Mail-ordered kits include full color pattern, instructions, embroidery floss, needle and 14-count perforated paper.  Click here to learn what's the deal with perforated paper.

All prices are in U.S. dollars, and include First Class Postal Service shipping for mail orders.  Payments are processed securely through PayPal, which accepts credit cards, debit cards and e-checks.  Orders are shipped from southern California, generally within 3 business days of payment receipt.  Email pattern orders placed on weekedays between the hours of 5a - 5p PST are generally fulfilled on a same-day basis, but orders placed outside those hours or from a different time zone may take up to 48 hours to fulfill. Note that e-checks may take up to 3 days to clear through PayPal; e-check orders will be filled upon notification that the e-check has cleared.

Please Note:  the images below have been overlaid with distorted grid lines to obscure the underlying stitch pattern.  The perforated paper included in BitterStitch kits does not have lines or anything else printed on it. 




Isn't this what you're really doing when you stitch?
Why not come right out and say so?
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Let's just say some of us were underwhelmed when
Win95 hit the market.
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Declare a Cheney-free zone!
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We've all got a porcupine or two in our past.
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Whether you're sick of meat,  junk food or losers,
this one pretty much covers it.
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Only the brave survive.
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Indulge in a little revisionist self-assessment.
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What's that smell?  Is it...sarcasm?
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Don't let the hipster knitters and crocheters have all
the fun, and take all the credit!
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Sometimes they need to be reminded that
housework is only an aphrodisiac when they do it.
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Don't think of it as meaningless labor that no one notices unless
it doesn't get done; think of it as your daily workout.
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The next time someone asks you to put your needlework aside so you can attend
to their needs, sweetly remind them that very often, your needlework is the only
thing standing between them and a coffin.
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All www.BitterStitch.com Site Content Copyright © 2006-08 April Hamilton.  Legal. Need help? Email Bitterstitch.